ESPN Playoff Awards by Bill Simmons. One of the funniest columns I have ever read on football ... and if the rest of the jock journalists write with this much flair ... it will be a fun two weeks. Read it all. Here's a snippet.
(Picture from Yahoo Sports)
The Dwight Howard Award for "Guy who most needs a nickname"
We need to figure out this Brandon Jacobs thing. The nickname "Nigerian Nightmare" made Christian Okoye sound 10 times more terrifying, yet "Brandon Jacobs" sounds like someone who got expelled from boarding school for trying to steal the SAT. Even worse, you can't shorten his name ("B-Jake" doesn't work), and you definitely can't use his initials because, well, you know. So what do we do? The man clearly needs a nickname. Can we dust off "Night Train" for him? That has been dormant for a good 50 years since Dick Lane had it. Should we call him "The American Nightmare" as an homage to Okoye? At the very least, the Giants' Web site should have a nickname contest to figure this out.
We need to figure out this Brandon Jacobs thing. The nickname "Nigerian Nightmare" made Christian Okoye sound 10 times more terrifying, yet "Brandon Jacobs" sounds like someone who got expelled from boarding school for trying to steal the SAT. Even worse, you can't shorten his name ("B-Jake" doesn't work), and you definitely can't use his initials because, well, you know. So what do we do? The man clearly needs a nickname. Can we dust off "Night Train" for him? That has been dormant for a good 50 years since Dick Lane had it. Should we call him "The American Nightmare" as an homage to Okoye? At the very least, the Giants' Web site should have a nickname contest to figure this out.
Read it all ... a few shots at Brady, Tom Coughlin (very funny), Norv Turner, Green Bay fans (very sympathetic) and of course Tiki ... ahh Tiki.
